We've come too far to give up who we are

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♎: *smiles politely, hands resting on her cane* Hello.

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asktheironinfidel:

UM. THEY EXISTED. AND NOW THEY DON’T. AND NO ONE ALIVE ON ALTERNIA BESIDES THE FUCKING EMPRESS KNOWS MUCH MORE THAN THAT, WHICH MAKES ME DOUBT THAT YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY TROLLS.

CAPTOR DID SAY THAT THE WAY WE SET THIS UP MIGHT CAUSE SOME INTERGALACTIC SPACE/TIME  “ SHENANIGANS” THAT I DON’T REALLY GIVE A GRUBGARGLING SHIT ABOUT—WHAT THE FUCK, I NEED TO GET TO THE POINT.

I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND HOPE TO WHATEVER SADISTIC GODS THERE MIGHT BE THAT YOU DIDN’T MEAN IT THE WAY IT SOUNDS.

BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANT ME TO LUMP PEOPLE INTO A CATEGORY AND MAKE A BUNCH OF COLORIST GENERALIZATIONS ABOUT THEM.

OKAY. EVERY FUCKING CULTURE OF EVERY FUCKING SPECIES THAT EVER FUCKING EXISTED AND CURRENTLY EXISTS AND WILL EVER EXIST HAD THEIR DIVERSITIES, AND PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THEM HAD SOME STEREOTYPE OR GENERALIZATION ABOUT THOSE DIVERSITIES  SOME OF THEM MAY EVEN CONTAIN A GRAIN OF TRUTH BECAUSE THE STEREOTYPE HAD TO COME FROM SOMEWHERE I GUESS—BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT THE STEREOTYPE IS REPRESENTATIVE OF AN ENTIRE FUCKING GROUP. IT’S A GRAIN, NOT THE WHOLE GODDAMN BEACH.

LET ME POSIT TO YOU, ALIEN PEOPLE, WHAT DO YOU KNOW/THINK ABOUT ANY ONE OF YOUR DIVERSITIES? MAYBE YOU COME IN DIFFERENT SKIN COLORS OR SOMETHING INSTEAD OF BLOOD AND DISCRIMINATE ON THAT. OR SOMETHING EQUALLY STUPID.

CAN YOU EVEN BEGIN TO FORMULATE AN ANSWER THAT ISN’T A HORRIFIC OVERSIMPLIFICATION AT BEST? OR A FUCKING INSULTING LIE BY OMISSION OTHERWISE?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE IS THE BEST SIGNLESS EVER HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK

asktheironinfidel:

WELL…TO BE HONEST, I DON’T. WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IS FOR THEM TOO. I MEAN, THERE ARE PRECAUTIONS I HAVE TO TAKE, LIKE OCCASIONALLY TRAVELLING IN AND OUT OF TOWNS DURING THE DAY, BUT IT’S NOT AS SIMPLE AS ‘HIGHBLOODS ARE ENEMIES’ AND ‘LOWBLOODS ARE ALLIES’. 

YOU SEEM TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT ONLY HIGHBLOODS DON’T LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. FUCKING NOT TRUE. I WOULD BE LYING IF I SAID THAT LOWBLOODS HAVEN’T TRIED TO KILL ME BEFORE. ONE OF THE WORST INJURIES I EVER RECEIVED WAS DEALT TO ME BY A FUCKING MAROON-BLOOD. 

HIGHBLOODS AREN’T THE ONLY ONES COMFORTABLE WITH THE SHITTY WAY THINGS ARE NOW. 

AND GIVE THEM SOME FUCKING CREDIT, A LOT OF HIGHBLOODS HAVE BEEN MORE RECEPTIVE TO MY IDEAS THAN I WOULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED WHEN I FIRST STARTED THIS. AND FOR THEM TO EMBRACE ANY PART OF WHAT I SAY OR NOT RIPPING OUT MY BLOODPUSHER AFTER AN ENCOUNTER IS JUST AS DANGEROUS FOR THEM AS IT IS FOR LOWBLOODS.

BUT WORDS, EVEN IF YOU’RE WILLING TO RISK YOUR LIFE FOR THEM, ARE PRETTY FUCKING CHEAP ON ALTERNIA. AND SINCE MY LUSUS AND I ARE PRETTY GOOD WITH NEEDLES, WE’VE FOUND THAT SEWING UP WOUNDS AND THE LIKE HAS GOTTEN US AMNESTY OR AT THE VERY LEAST SILENCE WITH HIGHBLOODS WHERE WE MIGHT HAVE OTHERWISE HAD TO DEAL WITH A FUCKING CALL TO AUTHORITIES HIGHER ON THE PROVERBIAL TOTEM POLE THAN POLISLAYERS OR LEGISLACERATORS.

MEDICAL SCIENCE IS MORE THEORETICAL THAN ANYTHING AROUND HERE, YOU SEE, AND THE TROLL HIPPOCRATIC OATH EXPLICITLY ENDORSES REVENGE.

AND EVEN IF THEY DO COME TO CALL, CONSIDER FOR A MOMENT THAT I’VE BEEN A FUCKING FUGITIVE SINCE THE DAY I WRIGGLED OUT OF MY EGG. CONSIDER ALSO FOR A MOMENT THAT SINCE THEY DAY I WRIGGLED OUT OF MY EGG, I HAVE ALSO BEEN NOMADIC ON TOP OF BEING A FUCKING FUGITIVE. WE’RE VERY FUCKING GOOD AT HIDING.

SERIOUSLY, EVEN HIGHBLOODED MAYORS DON’T EXACTLY LIKE TO CALL DOWN LAUGHASSASINS AND SUBJUGGULATORS ON THEIR CITIES OR TOWNS IF THEY CAN POSSIBLY AVOID IT. BECAUSE THOSE FROTHING LUNATIC MURDERCLOWNS TEND TO TURN HIVE-CALLS INTO A FUCKING NIGHTMARE CIRCUS OF INDISCRIMINATE SLAUGHTER. ITS BAD FOR THEIR ECONOMIES, AND DEPENDING ON HOW WHIMSICAL THE AUTHORITIES ARE FEELING, THEIR IMMEDIATE MORTALITY.

HOWEVER, WHEN THEY ARE SUMMONED TO CULL OUR HERETIC ASSES, WE DO EMPLOY A STRATEGY. A STRATEGY SO REVOLUTIONARY AND COMPLEX IT MIGHT BLOW YOUR FUCKING THINKPAN.

OH WAIT, NO, THERE ARE ONLY A FEW WAYS TO DEAL WITH AN INSANE CLOWN POSSE HIGHER THAN GODDAMNED KITES ON BLOODLUST AND MURDERJOLLIES:

ABSCONDING THE FUCK OUT.

 WELL, THERE YOU HAVE MY CURRENT POLICIES. ALTHOUGH I DO ADMIT THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET SNEAKIER FROM HERE ON OUT. WE HAD A CLOSE CALL A FEW PERIGREES AGO, AND…

FUCK, I’M RAMBLING.